Rewriting the Script: How to Challenge Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Mind

By a Counsellor Who’s Been There Too

Let’s talk about something many of us face quietly, behind the scenes of our daily lives: negative thoughts. That inner critic that whispers (or shouts) things like “I’m not good enough,” “I always mess things up,” or “What’s the point?”

As a counsellor, I’ve sat with many people who’ve battled these thoughts. I’ve also wrestled with them myself. The truth is, negative thinking can feel incredibly real and convincing—but it doesn’t have to control your life.

Why Do We Have Negative Thoughts?

Our brains are wired to keep us safe. Sometimes that means focusing on potential threats or past mistakes to avoid future pain. But when this protective mechanism gets stuck in overdrive, it can lead to patterns of self-criticism, anxiety, or hopelessness.

These thoughts often go unchallenged because we’ve repeated them so often, they start to feel like facts.

Step One: Notice the Thought

Before you can challenge a negative thought, you have to notice it. This sounds simple, but many of us are so used to these thoughts that they blend into the background.

Start by tuning in. When your mood shifts, ask yourself:
“What just went through my mind?”

You might be surprised by how harsh or automatic your thoughts can be.

Step Two: Name It for What It Is

Recognize that thoughts are just that—thoughts, not truths. Giving the thought a name can help separate it from your identity. For example:

• “There’s that ‘I’m not good enough’ thought again.”
• “This is my ‘worst-case scenario’ brain talking.”

This kind of labeling gives you a little distance and reminds you that you’re more than your thoughts.

Step Three: Ask the Right Questions

Now that you’ve caught the thought, it’s time to challenge it. Ask:

• Is this thought 100% true?
• What evidence do I have for and against it?
• Would I say this to a friend?
• Is there another way to look at this?

You’re not looking for fake positivity—you’re looking for balance. You deserve a more compassionate and realistic view of yourself.

Step Four: Replace or Reframe

Once you’ve poked holes in the negative thought, consider what you might say instead. For example:

• Instead of “I always fail,” try “I’ve had setbacks, but I’ve also learned and grown.”
• Replace “Nobody likes me” with “I might be feeling lonely right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m unlovable.”

These new thoughts don’t have to be perfect. They just need to be kinder and more accurate.

Step Five: Practice, Practice, Practice

Changing thought patterns takes time. You might not believe the new thoughts at first, and that’s okay. Think of this as mental strength training—the more you practice, the easier it becomes to spot negativity and respond with self-compassion.

When to Reach Out

If your negative thoughts feel overwhelming or constant, you don’t have to face them alone. Talking to a counsellor can help you untangle the roots of those thoughts and build tools to shift them. There’s no shame in asking for support—in fact, it’s a sign of strength.

Final Thoughts

You are not your thoughts.
You are not your worst moments.
You are worthy of kindness, including from yourself.

Challenging negative thinking is a courageous act of self-care. Every time you question a critical thought or offer yourself compassion, you’re rewriting the script—and that matters.

If you’re ready to talk, or even if you just have questions, I’m here.

— A counsellor who believes in your capacity to grow